Split Personality Me

I'm back!!!

2010-06-16T22:18:00.003+08:00

It's been months since my last blog, almost a whole entire year. Okay, maybe half a year to be exact. There's been so much that happened, and I couldn't be bothered to write about it. Christmas came and left, my Lunar New Year was pathetic. Valentine's Day was difficult to get by, and everything else after that is pretty much a blur already.

I'll try my best to update whatever is at the side, since my desktop is kinda wrong right now. Figure its gonna crush soon... We'll see...

~~~~~~~~~~

He was there. Roses littered the floor and steps. The trail let me to the ground floor, where it ended at the foot of a wall. I looked up and found myself looking at a something made up of colorful newspaper cut ups. It formed the wordings " I Love You". I couldn't believe my eyes, my breathing stopped and I started to feel light headed.

A crowd gathered around me, and they were excited. They knew the words were meant for me, and they were happy for me. People congratulated me, made me smile. My heart pounded wildly against my chest, it almost hurt. Then he pushed through the crowds to get to me, a bouquet of flowers in his hands. I looked up at him, he smiled warmly at me and handed me the flowers. Roses.

I tip-toed to put my hands around his neck, my chin rested on his left shoulder. His hands reach around my back and pulled me closer to him. I could feel his heart beating, his warmth, his muscles working to hug me closer. We were so blissful at that moment. The sun was warm, the air was sweet with roses, colors around us were bright and cheerful. Tears stream down my face as more joy and happiness overwhelms me. I could certainly feel his love for me, all that I was waiting for. The only thing that I was yearning for. I smiled and he did too.

Then I woke up... Wednesday morning when the sun hasn't even made it pass the bricks and blocks of HDBs. Me staring at my light pink colored celling, trying to remember every detail of the dream, still feeling the blissfulness. It felt so real, and how much I wish it was real. But I remembered from somewhere I heard of the saying "Whatever happens in a dream, is the direct opposite of reality."

Reality started to set in. He was gone. He had long been gone. I never got to know if he ever did love me, the way I loved and still loves him. There were no roses, never the words " I Love You". I was alone, without the excited crowd. I was alone, without him.

OT... OT...and more OT...

2009-11-20T22:21:00.011+08:00

Haiz... I've been really busy for the pass 2 wks, and now my neck muscles seems to have lost its use... My head hangs heavily over my shoulders and my neck feels limp.

Had been thinking about what I should blog about lately, but nothing seems to be interesting enough. And yes, I was lazy to blog anyway.

After wks of ignoring my own blog, I've decided to sit my butt down and start to look for something to blog about...

First up, I realised watching programs and dramas on youtube is way better than sitting my ass down in front of the TV. Unless they start showing better shows, and I don't mean translating english sitcoms into mandarin and claim them to be new shows.

Second, I love my current job, and God knows how much I'll hate to lose it. Everyones' nice, and work is nice. At least the people in my office bitch around in places I don't know, and they don't drag me into their bitching sessions.

Third up, Christmas is coming up real soon!!! Boss was passing pieces of cut out blank wish tags around the office. We are supposed to get what ever is on the wish list for our own partner, who we won't know who is who until gift-exchange day. So I'm currently wrecking my brains for what to put on my wish list. I have a budget of $20, and nothing that I want currently. I was thinking could they just get me cash?

Next. 12 Dec 2009 is supposed to be the day for SunDown Festival, Seoul'd Out night. But freaking tickets are at $85! And I'm only interested in 2 groups of artist, who would be there. I was hoping to see Brown Eyed Girls and F.T. Island live, but I guess its screw cus of the ticketing price. No way, I'm gonna pay $85 for just 2 groups who will perform 1/2 hour each.

Lastly, I found this on youtube. Seems like a promo for Nokia, and I totally love the mascots!!! They (the mascots) call themselves the [[No Chicken Duck]] band. And In mandarin, it will be translated as [[No-Ji-Ya]], which is actually Nokia...AHAHA~ I totally love the Onion!!!

All hail the British Accent!!!

2009-11-10T21:32:00.003+08:00

I've been having a few british guys running through my head all day for the past few days. Its a little weird, cus all the conversations I've been having in my head were all with the heavy british accent, and I can't get rid of it.

Its like having a group of british people dicussing about what to eat for lunch.

"Should I have the chicken rice or fried rice?"

Imagine that in British english...

Its driving me crazy. And just when I thought the "British Craze" in my head was over, I hear the heavy Brit accent on TV...Great...Just great...

I wonder when will this stop!!!!

~~~~~

Yeah, i know... I'm running out of things to say...

Hey, what can I say? I have a stable job, I live my life as it is everyday. And I'm still trying to learn the best way to save...So, what else can I say?

Leona Lewis - Footprints In The Sand

2009-10-28T22:22:00.004+08:00

I can't believe all these time I've actually missed out on so many great English songs, all because I was so obsesed with Korean songs. I have to admit I was wrong...

This is such a wonderful song...

I couldn't find the right music video I could post, but this will do. Since the lyrics are already there, it saves my time.

Enjoy~

~~~~~

And here is what I've missed out on blogging for the past month.

Firstly, I had my check-up. And after what seemed like forever, the x-ray showed no signs of broken bones, or messed up wrist. That's of course a good thing, but my wrist still hurt, and its a fact.

So in the end, the doctor gave me a tube of cream for the injuried ligament. It was written in the describtion that it was for rumathimism... So now I'm officially an old woman. Nice. And I'll still be able to predict rainy days whenever my wrist hurt. Great.

Just Monday, I fell asleep at my desk during work, and slammed my forehead on my desk, real hard slam. I thought I should forgo the coffee to stop myself from become an addict. But it was too late, and now I'm already an addict.

I lose myself every once in a while

2009-10-01T00:16:00.002+08:00

In the back of my head is the humming of overwhelming pain and anger that had been bottled up for too long. My head swarms with memories that triggers the pain in my heart. My pulse throbs to remind me of the anger I have held back for too long, and is now overdue for release.

My hands clenched into fists, with my nails digging hard into the flesh of my palms. The pain was still too mild for me.

I raised my hands to the side of my head, as I swing it forward, release the energy into my wrist. A dull pain was felt as my knuckles made its contact with the wall in front, a slight relief of anger left my chest. I continued the action a few times, until I could feel the skin around my knuckles swell, and blood seeped through the fresh cuts.

I chucked. It felt good. But not enough. Still not enough.

I came into a room. A wall of framed pictures, and items with a string of memory attached filled the white room. I picked up the closest frame.

Bright smiles and a beautiful weather. The frame was light pink and felt warm.

I smirked as I threw the frame across the room, and watched as it shattered into pieces. Its broken glass laid on top of the picture that was popped out of its frame by force. I flew into rage as I threw things around the room and listened to them shatter, watched as they lie lifeless and broken.

Soon I could no longer hear the things that shatter around me. My own screaming covered the sounds of glass and memories shatter. I swung my body forward as my hands sweep across the table top, and things piled up at the bottom in a heap. My feet kicked at everything that laid in my path. The crunching sound of glass under my feet became harmony with my screaming, cool wetness followed.

After I was done, I slumped into a corner of the room. The room looked bare, with disoriented heaps lying on the floor. A messy trail of blood made its way around the room, and ended at my feet. My hands were also trickily blood, my fingers felt numb.

The humming at the back of my head had stopped, my pulse was once again smooth and my breathing was even.

I chucked softly feeling the relief in my chest. Slowly it became laughter, as though some one had tickled me. Then, all hell broke loose as my flood gate opened. Tears poured out blurring the images from my eyes, damping my cheeks. My hands flew up to cover my face, where tears and blood met.

I sobbed harder and harder into my palms until I could not longer breathe evenly. Stealing air every now and then in between my sobbings, I felt light and unstable. I cried till I was tired, I cried till I lost consience, I cried till I fell asleep.

Only then did I stop. When no energy was left, until all the pain and anger was gone.

AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-30T23:54:00.003+08:00

The first thing I did when I came home today was to slam the door. I slammed my bag onto the table again in my room, threw things that didn't belong to me but where laying on my table. I practically threw everything I could grab within reach. Other that my sister who was studying in my room, I don't think anyone else noticed it.

Sometimes I really wonder to myself, "Am I that unimportant that no one even noticed the fact that I was angry for some reason?"

I had to breathe deeply and hug myself tight to prevent myself from crying on the train. I have to fight back the tears that no one I cared about will see. I had to distract myself, so I wouldn't break down in the middle of the street.

All these while I have been fighting the urge to scream at everyone I see. I have to silently scream in my own head. I have to fake a smile even though I'm so pissed that I can hardly control myself.

Whenever I hold myself back too much, I have nightmares, where I screamed, yelled, kicked, punched, stab and fight darkness. I cry myself awake to grip the sadness that was still within me, only then to fall asleep again crying.

My breath becomes unsteady, and short whenever I think about what upsets me. Many times had I tried to let it go, to forget and forgive. But I had never been able to lie enough to convince myself.

There are certain things that I myself cannot overlook, to forget and forgive. Specially when the fault isn't mine. I only act and behave as though it had been my wrong, and I've learned my mistake. It only makes me madder when the person with the wrong doing comes back to point finger at me again.

The bottled up anger is overwhelming at this stage, and yet again I cannot do anything. I can only hid myself away while I cry the tears of anger and pain, with no one to understand even if tears were shed in front of them.

The swarming anger floods my senses again. Tonight like those nights will be filled with darkness, tears and pain. I am sure I will have those nightmares again.

The unstoppable case of "Nobody"

2009-09-27T18:39:00.002+08:00

Yes, yes... we would all have heard by now the all korean girl group who opened hundreds of concerts for the Jonas Brothers, with their ever so popular song [[Nobody]]. Yes, they are the Wonder Girls.

And yes, their all so popular song [[Nobody]] was actually released around the end of year 2008. Making hit statements in Korea itself with their remarkable music video, dance and song. Sweeping awards after awards at local Korean Music Industries and some overseas. But it was only mid-year this year, that they suddenly exploded into fame, and before I even know it, they were opening concerts for the Jonas Brothers. Danced with Jordan Sparks and even released an english version of the song [[Nobody]].

Even though I, myself have already gotten over the [[Nobody]] fever after they ended their original promotions of the song in korea, can't help by find the song interesting. After a year since they had originally released the song, the hit-wave of it still continues through out different countries, and guess what I found.

Yes, Chicky and Jolibee on the streets with a friend battle of [[Nobody]] on the streets of Philippines. Though there were many cars passing by, it was still quite clear. And they ended with a friendly free-style dance to the song.

People laugh your hearts out!!!

It felt like anything could happen, and it was going to last forever...

2009-09-20T20:42:00.003+08:00

It started to rain at about 11.45am, the sky was tinted gray with little spots of white. The winds were blowing in strong and cooling. Raindrops made patches of wet splats everywhere.

I was praying hard in my room, hoping that it will end soon, and let it be clear in the evenings. I was sitting around the room with much difficulty, and the book wasn't enough to keep me occupied. Nothing was.

Since my brother was on the computer, I had to put myself into something else to distract myself. I helped with kitchen stuff for a while, and only a while. Then, I decided to just sit down and watch some TV, while consistently stealing glances at the wide open sky, praying that the rain will stop and sky will clear.

Everything went well from there. The rain stopped around 4pm, and the food arrived 10 mins after. The amount of food stacked up on each other were just about the right amount to feed a crowd of 20 people. 20 hungry people.

After settling a few last minute shopping for extra marshmallows, we were ready to hit the floors. The fire was started, and within 15 minutes, it was blazing hot and was rolling off the pit. People started to stream in after 6.30pm, and frank ling speaking, even though I only had Jasmine with me, and most of the guest were actually friends of my uncle or sister. It didn't felt that bad.

It wasn't awkward at all as I walked around talking to some, thanking them for coming. Food was great, people were great, Dad didn't try to be bossy, and most things were actually going the way I was planning it to be. Things were going great! People loved the food, someone managed to buy beer, and didn't get stopped, the cake was HUGE!!! And it was chocolate based with lots of fruits on top!!!

It felt like anything could happen and it was going to last forever. The pleasant air of sweet smelling happiness was everywhere.

I kept screaming "I'm officially 21, legally allowed to drink alcohol and no one can stop me!!!!"

And my mom didn't stop me(:

Even though I had to keep myself in check that my actual birthday is on Tuesday, I was happy for things to have happened.

~~~~~

2AM - A Friend's Confession

It's been a while, since my heart has been changed
Since I've been dealing with this loneliness
Everytime you came back, I hated the guy who made you cry

I'd rather protect you,
Though I don't know if it'll make it better
This time I'll hold you, and love you is what I thought

Baby, come to me now and be my lady
I've watched you for so long,
I just stood there not saying a word and hiding my pitiful heart
As a friend, and to remain as friends
I had to push the confession down my throat
But I'll confess to you now,
I love you

you held my hand, and said you only have me
Keeping me as a friend, you said its a real blessing
Whenever you say "Let's not change."
I had to push my feelings down

It might be best if I protected you,
Not knowing if it'll make it better
I keep hearing it, but I kept it cool
I was too scared to lose you but

Baby, come to me now and be my lady
I've watched you for so long,
I just stood there not saying a word and hiding my pitiful heart
As a friend, and to remain as friends
I had to push the confession down my throat
But I'll confess to you now,
I love you

Seven Days

2009-09-15T21:29:00.004+08:00

Seven more days and I'll officially be 21. But does that actually make any difference? Will that make me more popular? Will turning 21 make me smarter? Will turning 21 make me a better person? No... I'll still be me... Blur, cubby and korean song-lover.

I have been feeling upset and down for the pass few days, and I think all my close friends actually noticed it before I even know it myself. Okay, I admit that I was angry. But not at you guys, at least not all of you.

I was angry at the fact that I was forced to cancel my BBQ party. I was angry at the fact that when I asked for other suggestions, everyone else came around to ask me "Then how?!"

PEOPLE!!!! Don't ever ask me "Then how?!", when I have already clearly ASKED for your help!!! If I knew "Then how?!", I won't even be asking for suggestion, isn't it?!

And since everyone only bothered to ask me "Then how?!", the end result is that nothing will happen. YES! I'm not going to be the one planning for anything!!!! I won't be the one fixing dates and wait for everyone to agree on a common ground!!! Just date me, and if I'm happy, I'll go!!!

I AM PISSED!!!!
~~~~~~

Thank goodness I still have some friends who actually cared to suggest a few ideas. Thank you Michael, Jasmine and Yanting.

Thank you, Michael, for asking me out for dinner...

Thank you, Jasmine, for consistantly giving me ideas, and offering to stay with me on the day. Thank you for taking the day off from work in advance, even though the BBQ was wrecked.

Thank you, Yanting, for even asking what I want for my Bdae even though you are thousands of miles away. I really, Really, REALLY appreciate it.

~~~~~

2AM - This Song

Even though I want to buy you a pretty necklace
Even though I want to take you out on a ride in a nice car
Even though I want to dress you in pretty clothes
Even though I want to take you to nice places

This hand that I put inside my pocket grabs nothing
How can I have you?
My position doesn't suit you,
Regardless, can you stay by my side?

The only thing I can give to you is this song
All I have is this voice,
Even if this makes you laugh,
I'll still sing, I hope you'll accept it.

Even if you say its okay,
Even if you say its okay if I have you,
Even if you say you are happy everyday,
Even if you say you don't want anything else

Pretty and good things. Fun and cool things.
You obviously want these things too, Baby.
You know that if you stay by my side, I can't do these things.
Regardless, can you stay by my side?

I only have this song,
I really have nothing but this voice,
Even if this makes you laugh,
I'll still sing, I hope you'll accept it.
I hope you'll accept it.

Why must I resort to using such methods?!

2009-08-31T15:44:00.002+08:00

People ask me why I seem to dislike kids, and mostly as long as they are younger than me, I don't really like them. Really.

I have no idea. I just don't like them. Can't really interact well with them, and don't seem to have the interest to do so.

Yes, I'll still give tuitions and classes. I'll still teach and help them, but its always education wise only. I don't seem to be able to mix well with children, does that make me look "love-less"? The fact that I can't really handle children well, and I won't play with them on my own accord, does that make me look "un-caring"?

Maybe its because in my world, I want to be the child, forever. I want to be the one who thinks immuturly, I want the one to be cared-for, not to care-after. Maybe I can't accept the fact that they do things without thinking. That's why I walk around with my ear-pieces on whenever I'm on my own. So I won't have to listen to their stupid and childish conversations. So i'll always be the only childish one around.

~~~~~~

So...
One week after I called the police...
Not a single soul walks around...
Not a single sound of the ball being kicked...
No one's shouting after one another...
None of our clothes went missing again...

Seriously, why do some people want to learn things the hard way? They think its funny? They think its exciting? They think we keeping quiet is afraid of them? NO!!! If they think disturbing our lives, stealing our clothes, vandalising our homes, dirtying our living areas are fun, I'll show them what's fun!

Cowards like them disappear the next day after I made the report. And if they ever come back again, I swear to God, I'll skin them alive and parade them in their own schools!!! If they ever dare to show their faces before me again, I'll parade them in skirts and clothes they stole from my house! I'll like to see boys of their age wear my mini skirts and my brother's t-shirts full of holes! And I'm sure the rest of my family would be glad to see them!

Cowards...
Cowards who disappear the next day...
Cowards who do not dare to play around the hard-courts anymore...
Cowards who thought we were fun to play pranks on for a change...
Cowards...

It takes two hands to clap...Always~

2009-08-19T19:13:00.001+08:00

Patience, understanding and love is the common basic of relationships. Be it lovers' relationship, family relationships, friendships or just your simple everyday meet and greet relationship with your neighbours, all these relationships are based on Patience, Understanding and Love.

I've heard about the qurrels and disagreements, but I never thought it would be so serious! It had never crossed my mind before that someone would have such a bad relationship with the ones you call family.

To me, my family members are sometimes irritating, and they do get on my nerves and bad side once in a while, but everytime we argue or qurrel with each other, our relationship with each other becomes better. We understand why each of us reacts this way and we learn how to accommodate with each other. This is based on the understanding we have for each other, that we learn to take a step back to see the full view, and understand what each of us is really trying to say.

Taking a step back also requires patience, which most sometimes is really hard to achieve. Everytime each fight or argument gets too heated up, we forget the patience that is needed to solve the problem, and end up hurting each other when we did it only in a moment of anger. Be patient, take a deep breathe before you let some awful comments or remarks you didn't mean to say leave your lips. Be patience and take a deep breathe before you let that anger clouded mind make any stupid decisions that you didn't actually mean to do in the first place. Soften your tone when you speak, or try to explain. Shouting only makes things worst. Yes, the other person might not have the intention to listen to you in the first place, but don't shout to force them to listen, you are only giving them the excuse to blame you, push faults to you and allowing them to anger you more.

And the most basic thing in relationships is Love. Because you have the love for each other, therefore you become angry. Because you have the love for each other, you want what's best for them. And because you have the love for them, you will not ignore them like some mere stranger you see on the roads. So think about it, if you truly love them, why do you want to hurt them in the first place? Over some small matter that you can already solve easily yourself.

If you truly love and cherise the relationships you have with anyone at all, have the patience, understanding and love to take a step back, breathe, soften your tone and think clearly before you act or say anything. After all, you do feel the hurt and anger because you love them. And although it takes two hands to clap, someone must always be the first one to bow down first. And if being the one to step down first, can stop things from becoming worst, why not you be the one to apologise first? At least one person in the fight has to be the clear headed one, and one person to be the first to step down.

Nervous~ Nervous~ Nervous~ Nervous~

2009-08-11T17:56:00.000+08:00

Tiffany : "Strawberry shortcake, blueberry pie! Kiss Me Kiss Me, ONE MORE TIME!!!"
Me : "......?"

Tiffany : "Strawberry shortcake, blueberry pie! Kiss Me Kiss Me, ONE MORE TIME!!!"
Me : "Huh?"

Tiffany : "Strawberry shortcake, blueberry pie! Kiss Me Kiss Me, ONE MORE TIME!!!"
Me : " -.-!!"

Tiffany : "Strawberry shortcake, blueberry pie! Kiss Me Kiss Me, ONE MORE TIME!!!"
Me : ".....(twitch, twitch)"

Tiffany : "STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE, BLUEBERRY PIE! KISS ME KISS ME, ONE MORE TIME!!!"
Me : "SING THAT ONE MORE TIME, AND I'LL RAPE YOU!!!"

A mere re-cap of what happened a long time ago...and no, I wouldn't rape her even if I were a man!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everytime I think about the hours left till I leave for the air-port, every single nerve in me seem to twitch alot. First things first, I'm still terrified of flying! Now I finally realise how some people will always panick before the plane takes off, it used to seem so stupid to me. The chances of a plane crashing is 1 out of 1,000,000, and yet I keep hearing news flashes of planes crashing all over the world every two days.

Secondly, its the security situation in Thailand that is freaking me out. I still remember a friend's encounter in Bangkok, where the explosion happened 10 minutes right after she left the place by taxi. The airport issue also freaks me out.

Thirdly, its already quite hot and humid in singapore, how am I gonna survive in Bangkok?

Shopping!! The shopping!!! OH!!!! What am I gonna do?!!

I'm panicking and excited at the same time, and I'm driving myself crazy!

Calm down, I need to calm down!!!! And after two huge servings of ice-cream, I am still freaking out.

Nicole : "Stop counting down the hours till you leave la! And start packing!!! Maybe that'll help!"

True!!! After so long, I'm still not done with my packing, and lazy me still hasn't change the currency I need.
Haiz~ What ever am I going to do about myself?

Wild Bunnies on the LOOSE~~

2009-08-10T18:56:00.000+08:00

Prolly been watching too much [[Wild Bunny]], that I've been starting to have weird dreams of 2PM members running wild with a huge bunny mascott head bounching too near me! Pretty funny if you ask me.

Anyway, will be leaving for Bangkok in about 36hours, and I've yet to pack. But I am starting to have panick attacks everytime I think about leaving for the air-port. The best part yet is that I have to leave my house "bright" and early in the morning at about 4.30am to catch my flight at 7.15am. I wonder what is going to happen? I know I won't be able to sleep until at least 3am, and if I have to leave at 4.30am, I have to wake up at 4am. Nice, 1hour of sleep is what I need.

I've more or less planned the things I'm gonna have to bring there, but has yet to start putting them together. Money has yet to be changed and I'm still silently praying that some kind soul will be able to provide more funding for the trip.

Yet again, Gray is refusing to eat as he is seriously missing my mom, who is currently away in KL for the weekends.

Kang Dae Sung - Look At Me Gwisoon

2009-08-04T00:01:00.003+08:00

Even though he's from this super band Big Bang, Dae Sung gives me that goofy, kind and maknae image whenever I watch his performance on Family Outing. And they'll always play the trot song he sung.

I know the singing and dance can be a little greasy but that's how trot songs are supposed to be...GREASY~ And tell me, how can you not like him?

I'm getting MARRIED!!!! NOT~

2009-08-03T13:54:00.001+08:00

How difficult is it to get myself to sit infront of the computer and start reseaching for the things I need? Very! Apparently, I can't concentrate well enough to get myself to do the things I need to be doing. For example, I'm leaving for Bangkok next wednesday(eh... I just remembered the dates, and I still thought I have another 2 more weeks to go.), and yet I still haven't done any researching yet. I should have planned out my schedule and learning a few quick thai sentences by now, and I'm still down with nothing.

It always seemed like there were tons of things I should be doing instead of youtubing or facebooking, but I never seem to remember what to do whenever I sit infront of the computer. Writing down didn't work either, I keep losing the papers.

Anyway, I finally managed to finish watching [[Bride Wars]], and it was great! It got me thinking about my own wedding, its not like I'm in a hurry to get married now, but everything seemed so wonderful when you are getting married. Having two best friends getting married together seems like a wonderful idea, and I sort of have an idea who I want my maid-of-honour to be.

The wedding dresses in the show were just as wonderful, specially Vera Wang. Yes its absultely branded and unless I start saving my ass off right now or marry some very very very rich husband, I don't think I'll even be able to wear one at the wedding. But never the less, I've more or less gotten the idea how my ideal wedding is going to be, white soft and warm (:

Here's the link to the picture of the wedding dress I was talking about.
[[http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_WdHq9UFqAQ8/SXJA2jfq2yI/AAAAAAAAACY/XNitSHHyVrA/s1600-h/_28nov1.jpg]]

I love it!!! Princess style, high waist, laces, layerings at the bottom! Its wonderful!
I couldn't get any other pictures from Vera Wang's collection cause of some membership block, and yet again this shows how exclusive her dresses are.

Birthday Wish List!

2009-07-25T21:37:00.001+08:00

There is exactly 19 days to my trip to Bangkok, and 59 days to my 21st Bdae.

Had lunch with Evelyn before we headed out for the library to do some research for our trip, and if it wasn't for her I wouldn't even bother to look anything up. I was hoping for her to do all the planning, and I'll be the lazy one who'll just follow. But as soon as we picked up the travel guides, we couldn't stop planning our schedules. Apparently, there were a few places I wanted to visit, and few things I wanna try when I'm there. Maybe the information in the books were a little too detailed, I'm starting to panick. Yes, I'm worried about the culture shock, and what-nots that is going to happen when we are there.

In the mean while, my sister has been kind enough to try and go through my birthday wish list. We concluded a few things that I am actually dying to have, and reasonable enough as birthday gifts.

1) A whole collection of Harry Potter (Adult version - Hard Cover)
2) A whole collection of Harry Potter (Teenage version)
3) The DVDs for all the Harry Potter movie till date (Yes I know... I'm a fan...)
4) CK's One perfume
5) Angbao (I know some people don't know what to get me, and I have been asking for a new phone)
6) Tickets to Jump! ( Though the show happens before my bdae, but still...)
7) Clothes and make sure they fit
8) Helium for the bdae party (not for the balloons, for me!)

That should be about the whole list, I seriously can't thing of the things I really want as birthday present. I'm only sure of things I don't want, things that are cute, furry and for looks only. Just get me something practical okay?

Simple Q&A I got from somewhere out there

2009-07-25T20:38:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna do it as sarcastic as I can. Just for laughs really...
~~~~~
Part A : Type down your reactions when someone says these phrases to you.

Q : WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THAT?
A : simple, cus I'm not like you.

Q : I JUST REALIZED NOW THAT I LOVE YOU
A : just? Who have you been with?

Q : LEAVE HIM/HER ALREADY! YOU'LL BE MUCH MORE HAPPY WITH ME.
A : I left you for the same reason in the first place.

Q : COME ON. SMILE. YOU'RE CUTE WHEN YOU DO!
A : Cute only? Deh! Without smiling I'm already cute enough Vokay?

Q : PLEASE DO MY MATH HOMEWORK TOO!!
A : I've already told your english teacher your dog ate your homework, just tell your math teacher the same thing.

Q : I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU!
A : I know I'm an angel, you don't have to tell everyone!

Q : WHY DOES MONDAY COME BEFORE TUESDAY?
A : Same reason why you happen to be a dimwit.

Q : I HAVE TWO TICKETS TO THE LINKIN PARK CONCERT. WANNA COME WITH ME?
A : I have a personal invite from Linkin Park to their after concert party, wanna come?

Q : YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST SPECIAL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. DID YOU KNOW THAT?
A : One of? Who else is there?

Q : I THINK I'M FALLING FOR YOU...
A : You think?

Q : I CAN'T SMILE WITHOUT YOU.
A : What? Do I look funny to you?

Q : THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, BUT YOU JUST AREN'T HIM/HER
A : Its okay, I understand that you prefer pigs to humans.

Q : WHAT'S YOUR MOBILE NUMBER?
A : 999, Don't worry if the person who picks up is a guy. Its prolly just my father or brother.

Q : CAN I HAVE THIS DANCE?
A : Sure you can, but you may not.

Q : MAY I ESCORT YOU?
A : Escort? to where? Did Billy Gates finally realise I'm his other daugther?

Q : DO YOU STILL LOVE HIM/HER TILL NOW?
A : I'll be lying if I said no. (and I mean this)

Q : YOU WERE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING THAT I WANTED
A : Were?!

Q : WHEN WILL I GET UR ANSWER?
A : What answer?

~~~~~
Now I'm gonna answer as honest as I can.

Part B:
Now answer these questions:

Q : Who is in the house with you?
A : Granny, Dad, Mom, Sis and Bro and Gary. Actually everyone execpt for my other sister.

Q : Who are you thinking about now?
A : Evelyn. Wondering how was the NDP already.

Q : Who did you last talk to on the phone?
A : Mom.

Q : Whose house did you last go to?
A : ER.... My boss'? she lives next door.

Q : Whose birthday is next?
A : Mine. I can't be bothered about anyone else already.

Q : Who was the LAST person you loved?
A : ER....Non of your business...its not you anyway.

Q : Who do you hope will take this survey?
A : Dumbledore. You ask who I HOPE for.

Q : What was the last thing you ate?
A : A whole entire salmon fish head in curry.

Q :What was the last thing you drank?
A : The curry sauce from the salmon fish head curry?

Q : What is the closest item near you that is blue?
A : The clock that is always wrong.

Q : What instant messaging service do you use?
A : MSN?

Q : What is your favorite color? (1 only)
A : How can there be only 1? If in this case I'll choose rainbow color then.

Q : What is your most used phrase?
A : ER....

Q : What is your favorite website?
A : Youtube?

Q : What is your favorite shoe brand?
A : Mondo.

Q : What song are you currently listening to?
A : 2NE1 - Pretty Boy (and I purposely changed it to this song, can?)

Q : Where do you live?
A : On earth.

Q : Where do you sleep?
A : Beside my sister, in my room, in my house, and somewhere in Singapore.

Q : Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
A : My bedpost.

Q : When is your birthday?
A : 22nd Sept 1988

Q : When did you last call home?
A : 3 hours ago.

Q : When did you last see your dad?
A : 1 second ago. And he's still sitting behind me.

~~~~~
Now the not so interesting part

Part C: Why's?

Q : Why do we have to go to school?
A : To give tax collecters a reason to collect more tax?

Q : Why are you answering these questions?
A : On my own free will, and for fun.

Q : Why do people get married?
A : Cus they wanna torture the living hell out of each other.

Q : Why do couples get divorced?
A : Cus they wanna make life easier for each other.

Q : Why do people ask why?
A : Why are you asking me? Go ask someone else.

Life without work : Day 3

2009-07-22T14:14:00.002+08:00

Today I made my sister cry...easily...
I just told her that I was gonna watch Harry Potter without her, and she hid herself in her room to cry. Why is she so gullible? Haiz~

Yesterday we spent 5 hours waiting in the hospital for a 30 minutes' consultation with the doctor. What a waste of time!!!!!
Had lunch at the old hawker place in Telok Blangah, where we used to live. Everything had changed, everything seems so small, maybe cus the last time I saw the place I was 12 and really short.

The old porridge granny is no longer working there, the roasted-pork uncle still recognizes us, the prata uncle and the prawn noodle aunty were still there, and their food were still as nice as back in those days.

The MaMa shop I used to buy chocolates after school is no longer there, the uncle changed the place into a kids-clothing shop. The playground had been taken down and changed into a huge but empty carpark. The clinic where I used to take a shot everyday for 7 days is gone, replaced by some offices that still has the sign "Offices For Rent".

The old apartment we used to live in has been changed into some workers' apartment, even then, it still look so much nicer than the time we lived there. Back in the days we lived there, it looked more like a workers' apartment than some private housing. Now its the reverse, the place lookes like some private condominium. The old coffee-house we used to eat breakfast at has been changed into a furniture center. Labrador Park is now called Labrador Villa, well equiped with everything from BBQ pits to chalets, when in the past, all there was was just a carpark. The old primary school I used to go to has now given way to the new MRT station.

In the past when we used to live there, the only place for "shopping" was the World Trade Centre, now there is Vivo City. Macdonald's back than was our biggest treat, and now we don't even want to eat at Marche.

Life without work : Day 1

2009-07-20T22:20:00.003+08:00

Waking up this morning, somethings seems to be off.
First, I didn't have to drag myself out of bed, and I woke up feeling perfectly awake at 7.30am. Second, there was no one there to fight with for the bathroom. My sister wasn't there infront of the mirror trying to style her hair in a weird way. Mom didn't make alot of noise trying to wake the others up.

I sat around the living room as my dog tried to chew my fingers, and I realised this was how it felt now that I didn't had to work.

It felt a little off. There is no need to rush around the house to get myself ready to get to work, I didn't have to squeeze myself into a corner to get to work on the MRT. No need for me to eat my breakfast while I wait for the computer to warm up. No need to think about what was for lunch, and what should I eat to consume the least amount of calories.

It felt pretty free and easy, but lost cus I have nothing to do anymore.

I was queuing up to draw money, when I realised the first pouch in my wallet felt loose and my cards kept falling out. I laughed at myself, cus I used to have the WDA pass which I put into the first pouch, and it fits nicely so the other cards won't fall out. It seems a little weird now that its not there anymore. The white little card with a piece of tape sticking out from its end.

I have alot of time on my hands now, that I don't even know how to fill them. Catching up with friends would be a good idea, but most of them are either working or studying. Cleaning up my room doesn't take too much time, I have already threw away things I didn't need. Planning and reseaching for my trip to Bangkok seems a little too early also. Playing with my dog doesn't seem to work also, cus its always either him getting bored and tries to find a corner to take his nap, or its me who cannot stand his slimes and chewing on my fingers.

Shopping is definately not in my list of things to do. I'm already making myself mental notes not to shop or get anything I didn't really need, since I'll be leaving for Bangkok in 3 weeks time.

Think I seriously need to get myself a job before I become lazy again...

Never let your heart over-rule your brains!

2009-07-15T23:22:00.008+08:00

How could I ever be so stupid? How could I forget over and over again, failing to think straight with my brains instead of my heart?

Thoughts rushed into my mind while I read the reply email from a precious friend, I laughed at myself. It was all so simple in the first place, wasn't it? We had already gone through the same topic one too many times, and yet I failed to remember and learn from my lesson. I have always been thinking with my heart instead of my brains, which often gets me into trouble.

Just how stupid and senile can I get?

I felt so bad as I read her reply to me, I felt bad for making her repeat herself again. Her words made it looked as if she was sitting next to me, talking about the things we had already gone through before she left for aussie. She has always been so straight forward and honest, and she's the only one I go to when I meet up with problems. Seeing her words to me, I made up my mind. I'm gonna start using my brains to think again, and I'm gonna keep reminding myself.

She has always been there for me, physically or emotionally. I really miss her.

Gal, I really do miss you so much! I miss your hugs(: Love you!

2NE1 - I Don't Care

Hey Playboy, it's about time!
And your time's up!
I had to do this one for my girls, you know?
Sometimes you gotta act like you don't care
That's the only way, you boys learn

I can't ever forgive you for that lipstick on your collar
Eveyday, your phone's always off
It doesn't seem like your're going to change. Oh...Oh...

All those girlfriends you call "friends"
Don't think of me in the same way as them,
I won't let it by
From now on, do as you want!
I'm going to stop caring!
For some time I really loved you but oh...

Sometimes you'd get drunk, and call me
now it's 5:30a.m.
Again you say another girl's name
No...No...

I don't care, I'll stop caring about what you're doing
Wherever you are,
From now on I really don't care, I'll get out of the way.
From now on don't come to me and cry, and cling on
Cause I don't care~(x4)
Boy, I don't care!

Stealing glances at other girl's legs,
You are so so hopeless
Everyday you take off your couple ring,
and secretly go on a blind date.
I don't think that I'll be able to take it anymore oh~

My friends all say that you're not really worth it
You even went to your wolf-like friends for advice but,
I'd rather keep it simple, I'm too good for you
I believed you were my love but oh...oh...

Today you said you were busy, I tried calling you but,
As expected, in the background I hear a girl's laugh
oh...no...

I don't care, I'll stop caring about what you're doing
Wherever you are,
From now on I really don't care, I'll get out of the way.
From now on don't come to me and cry, and cling on
Cause I don't care~(x4)
Boy, I don't care!

Because of you, I remember crying till dawn boy,
I regret every time I think about you, when my heart was too easy,
huh boy?
I'm too good to throw away and too boring to have
You should've treated me better when we were together,
why are you clinging to me now?

You fooled me with your lies hundreds of times,
From today on, I'll be a bad girl who makes guys cry
Now without a single tear, I'll laugh at you.
Loser who's inside a game called love,
Get on your knees and take me back.
If not, get out of my sight right now!

I don't care, I'll stop caring about what you're doing
Wherever you are,
From now on I really don't care, I'll get out of the way.
From now on don't come to me and cry, and cling on
(You know I don't care) Care~~
I don't care~
No, I just don't care~
I don't care~
Boy, I don't care~

Sometimes I really wish that things would be much simpler, I really do!

2009-07-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

Ugrh!!!!

I really cannot understand why is it that the world I live in has to be so complicated. Why can't things be simpler? I'm all confused and lost, and by the time I figure things out, I'm all bashed up, wounded and bleeding to death.

A simple thing could get me smiling all day, and every time I think of the other side of it, I feel like crying.

I haven't been able to concentrate at work the whole day today. The corner of my lips kept lifting itself as I tried to work, and as I tried to stop my brain from wondering off into "Ga-Ga Land". But nothing I try to distract myself with seems to work.

Ten mins ago, I was the happiest human on earth. Ten mins later, I could cry a whole entire river. Its so weird, the feelings that has been wondering in and out of me. The crossing over from being happy one moment, to being sad the next.

With so much mixed emotions all at the same time, I ended up skipping lunch. Guess all the mixed feelings had already been fed to my tummy. But the frustration of all the feelings being there started to take its toll on me. I became fidgeting, short concentration spend, grumpy, and I ended up junk fooding.

Drowning myself with nacho chips and soya milk. Weird combination, I know. But its still better than all the feelings inside of me.
Till now, I still have no idea how to calm myself down. It seems to be getting worst. I think I really need to talk to someone already!

Urgh!!!!!!!

Clazziquai Project - Wizard of OZ

"Boy in love, looking for a girl in a wonder world.
Girl is lost in her dancing shoes, at the end of the road."

Lee Cheon Hee

2009-07-08T21:08:00.006+08:00

Last Friday, the table next to ours' in the office turned into a mini-garden. Pots of Money Plant formed a mini-greenie, and it actually looked very nice. Soon, I realised almost everyone else had a pot of Money Plant on their desk.

Initially, Leona, Hui Ying and I had one pot. We shared, and Leona named it Bea- Nee. But Mel said we could each have one. So Hui Ying and I rushed to the mini-garden to take our pick. While Hui Ying took her time to choose the better looking pot, one not so special pot caught my attention.

Maybe it looked ordinary to everyone else, that's why it was left in the mini-garden. Maybe it didn't look very healthy, that's why it was left standing alone trying very hard to hold up its leaves.

But to me, it was very special. It wasn't the greenest, it didn't have the largest leaves, it didn't even grow straight. That's what was so special about it, it wasn't growing straight, and it reminded me so much of someone.

And thus I decided to name it Cheon Hee...

Ee Cheon Hee...

Day 1:

(you can already see that its not very healthy)

(its side view, and its really slanted)

(its little name tag I made)

Day 5:

(Shooting straight upwards!)

Initially, it didn't grow straight. It was bending right, showing its roots, and its leaves were already touching my table. I had to pull it out bit by bit, and plant it in again. But it didn't look like it was going to hold.

In some way, it looks beautiful to me. From the first time I saw it, it was green and I felt relaxed looking at it. It was beautiful in its own way, but somehow still lacking that certain 2%. Reminded me of someone I saw on youtube. Some show that I like to watch, funny and heart warming.

So I decided to name my plant after one of the characters from the show. To me, he looks very special and eye-catching even from the first look. But slowly he shows even the most beautiful person has that certain 2% lacking. Just like my plant.

And despite all difficulties, it still grows well.

SARS vs H1N1

2009-07-07T15:58:00.003+08:00

Remember the days during the SARS period, when we were chased home for having higher than normal temperature? Remember the days, when we had to take our temperature every now and than? Remember the days, when school was suspended and we met up for movies?

Yea, those were the SARS days.

Remember the days when you switched the tv on, and you see Phua Chu Kang dancing and rapping on national tv? Those were the days when you would turn on the TV, and hear more people die over the news. It had almost seem like it was never going to end, and the government decided to create public awareness with Phua Chu Kang dancing and rapping.

Now that SARS is not around and H1N1 came, this song seems to have dissappeared, and it seems that there is no song for the H1N1. That was what I thought, until last night when my sister started to play Wonder Girls' "Nobody".

Or at least I thought it was but I was worng...
It was a remake from Mr. Brown's Show with the song from Wonder Girls...

Here's the original,

Wonder Girls - Nobody

Here's Mr Brown's Version

Mr Brown - Wash Your Hands Too (Tribute for H1N1)

Hilarious isn't it?

Internal Struggles.....(struggle, struggle)

2009-07-02T11:32:00.006+08:00

I'm struggling to keep my eyes peeled opened as I try to post without making any mistakes.

(struggle, struggle, struggle)

Okay, the date has been set, and I am really going to Thailand!

13 Aug - 17 Aug, I think...I forgot the actually date Evelyn booked our tickets. But I'm going anyway, and thanks to Wen Bin for mentioning that Thailand is not in the best state of security now, not to mention H1N1.

I even had that weird dream about waiting to board the plane to fly to Thailand, but end up boarding the wrong plane going to Taiwan! Man! I must be so nervous to have these stupid dreams.

(struggle, struggle, struggle)

Come to think about it, I have a very long line of events coming up soon after July.

July - Chun Hui's 21st Birthday
Aug - Going to Thailand ( 13 Aug - 17 Aug - I think...)
Sept - My own 21st Birthday, Tiffany's Birthday
Oct - Lynn's Wedding, Nicole's Birthday, Mommy's Birthday
Nov - Khinn Kor's Wedding
December - Tammi's Wedding, Christmas and New Year's Eve

(struggle, struggle, struggle)

I'm falling asleep, and luckily, its almost time for me to knock off, and I'm so excited to go home and see Gary(:

(struggle, struggle, struggle....falls asleep....)

21st Brithdays Everywhere

2009-06-28T15:05:00.005+08:00

**********(*(*(*(*(*)*)*)*)*)***********
~~~~~~Congrats on 21st Birthday~~~~~~
**********(*(*(*(*(*)*)*)*)*)***********

Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday to Chun Hui!
Happy Birthday to You!

**********(*(*(*(*(*)*)*)*)*)***********
~~~~~~Congrats on 21st Birthday~~~~~~
**********(*(*(*(*(*)*)*)*)*)***********

Ya, I know, I'm happy for her, and bloody excited about my own that is coming up real soon in Sept.

Reached Chun Hui's house at 7.30pm and surprisingly I was able to find my way to her house without help. Ya, she was shock to see me arrive at her doorsteps safely in one whole piece, so was everyone else when they arrived later.

Met Hui Fen's legendary boyfriend. Heard he was playing the guitar for her on her 21st. My first impression of him was, "?! Is his gonna fall asleep or what?" My apologies, cus in the moment when Hui Fen introducted him to me, he really looked like just woke up from bed or something.

We had fun eating and catching up with each other, and somehow, I had the feeling that Hui Fen's bf was very interested in the job I'm currently working as. Specially the part with the indian accent. And I got so carried away, I forgot the neighbours were indian, and I got very loud!

Hui Fen and her boyfriend were trying to eat, laugh and trying very hard not to choke. We had fun trying to communicate with the accent, and hopefully they are not posting the video or sound clip they claimed to have recorded on to youtube. I swear I'll get sued if anything is published! Hui Fen's boyfriend was also trying to make me communicate in the Hong Kong accent, which I failed. After everything, we concluded that I'm able to do english with the indian twist, mandarin with malaysian twist, and I need to work on my english with the hongkong twist, which they say they hope to hear during my 21st.

During the whole time I was thinking my own 21st bash. Maybe not bash, but a little party. I thought I wasn't gonna have one, but now it seems that I'm really excited about it, and my birthday is at least 3 mths away.

Mom was showing me this cut out from the newspaper for some satay supplier, and made me call them. It seems that she is also kinda up for the idea of bbq for my birthday. We have made a simple list of the things we want, and my main concern is actually my mom preparing the food. I'm considering the idea of having everything ordered from the supplier or my mom helping me with the marinating and stuff. Any suggestions anyone?

And I have been telling everyone that I want to have helium during the bbq. No, its not for the balloons. Yes, its for me to eat and change my voice. I know its stupid, but I have always been fasinated by the idea of laughing with helium. Its just super funny and cute. So someone better bring some helium along!

(ya, I know its a little early, but who knows I might change my mind (: )

Birthday Wish List
1) Helium during the bbq
2) A new phone? (Samsung Omnia)
3) Books?
Actually, I don't really have much of a wish list....
Maybe just get me something practical will do, and PLEASE! no dolls or bears or cute furry stuff! They'll just get packed up and put away by my mom.

PS: Huang Ting-Ting, wish you could be here during my 21st. It'll be the best present if you were here(: Love ya!

I have H2N2!!!!

2009-06-24T19:31:00.004+08:00

No, I'm not infected with whatever swine or duck flu. I'm just down with a fever and a cold, so to prevent the spread of virus, I skipped work.

My throat had this feeling of a cow or starfish stuck inside. It hurts and its dry, and it feels all rocky and ouch! Been coughing every few minutes and nothing comes out from it. My eyes are swollen and I'm always hungry, and only has porriage to eat! Someone please feed me with proper food!!!! Talking about food, I missed the Mac'Donald's breakfast on tuesday morning, where Leona volunteered to get for us.

Haiz~ My warm hot cakes and fragant milk tea...

Rec'ved a sms from Lynn this morning asking me to be her chinese host for her wedding! Who ever told her I can speak proper mandarin?! I'm horrified just thinking about the people who are going to be there!

Anyway, its Michael's 21st bdae today...

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!

~~~~~

4 Minutes - Hot Issue

From head to toe, Hot Issue
Go!
Everything little thing about me, Hot Issue
Everything take control (Everything take control)
I'm always a Hot It, Hot It, Hot It, I-i-i-i-i-i-issue

One! The shoes that I wear without much thought
Two! The post that I keep striking whenever I want
Three! The lipstick that I carelessly apply, slightly slightly
4 4 4 4 4minutes, Hot hot hot Issue

Are you jealous of every little thing about my style?
But you can't copy me to carelessly!
If you want, follow me!
Try to follow my style
Shawty star, I'm always shawty star!

I'm issue issue issue
Even the things I look at,
I'm issue issue issue,
Even the things I listen to,
I'm issue issue issue,
Even the things I say, babe

(Let's jump jump jump)

From head to toe, Hot Issue
Go!
Everything little thing about me, Hot Issue
Everything take control (Everything take control)
I'm always a Hot It, Hot It, Hot It, I-i-i-i-i-i-issue

Looking at me again, again
Everyone crowds around me,
They see me and scream, the never ending flash!
Do you want to act like me, do you want to be like me?
Follow my moves, boom boom, shake your boom!

I'm issue issue issue
Even my gaze,
I'm issue issue issue,
Even my gestures,
I'm issue issue issue,
Even my dances, babe

(Let's jump jump jump)

From head to toe, Hot Issue
Go!
Everything little thing about me, Hot Issue
Everything take control
(Everything take control)
I'm always a Hot It, Hot It, Hot It, I-i-i-i-i-i-issue

My waist that's more slender than yours,
My long, slender legs
A more first lady than anyone else
I I I'm always Hot Issue!

From head to toe, Hot Issue
Go!
Everything little thing about me, Hot Issue
Everything take control
(Everything take control)
I'm always a Hot It, Hot It, Hot It, I-i-i-i-i-i-issue

BANGKOK!!! HERE I COME!!!

2009-06-16T21:54:00.007+08:00

With Leona's birthday just round the corner, I'm really excited. Yes, I know its not my birthday, but still....I'm happy!

Maybe its been a while since I've last celebrated a friend's birthday, and not kiddy style.
Anyway, in the midst of all the working, munching and dreaming about friday's celebration, Imelda (my boss and next-door neighbour) suggested a short vacation trip to Bangkok, Thailand.

Okay, there are somethings I need to clarify first!

1. I've never travel further than the borders of Malaysia, which ever way you want to state which border of Malaysia that is.
2. I've never ever, I say NEVER! travel on a plane before! Not even the stimulation planes in which ever science centre.
3. I've never travel to any country that speaks non-chinese or non-english!

While Leona and Imelda were checking the internet for the flight and hotel prices, Hui Ying was chatting and giggling about the things she want to do there.
And me? Of course I'm excited about going. Its not that expensive to go, and its actually considered one of the nearer countries next to Singapore, and since my parents were okay with my sister travelling overseas with her friends, I don't see why they won't let me.
But I was worrying in the background, thinking quietly to myself, calculating. The number of hours on the plane to get there, the number of hours I'll take to recover. The number of hours I might still feel the effects of motion-sickness.

Trust me when I say I get motion-sickness easily. I mean it. I mean I can't even sit on the MRT and read my favourite book without having to rest every 5-10mins. I still get motion-sickness from travelling by public bus, let alone travel by plane.
I can already imagine myself puking all the way from the moment we leave the airport in either SG or M'sia (where-ever we are leaving from), to the moment we reach the hotel in Thailand.

But whatever the worries are, I'm sure I'll survive! I'll take a sleeping pill, I'll go empty stomach, I'll distract myself, whatever it takes to get me to Thailand!

Yes, I'm excited as you can see, and I've already gave up on supressing the joy and happiness in me, I'm ready to explode! I'm ready to leave for Thailand!

Note to Leona (if you are reading) :
I don't care if you and hui ying want to shop or raid Chatdukchat, I just wanna go to Thailand with you guys!!! So someone better find out how much will it cost and when are we going!!!

THAILAND! I'M COMING!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD TODAY?!

2009-06-10T17:51:00.006+08:00

Today is 10 June 2009, Wednesday.

Today is mid-week, a work day, and everyone is already starting to feel tired.

Today is a day when Prof. Jones is not around, and there are not many people chasing after us for work.

BUT!!!!

Today Leona was cranky, which was slowly passed on to Hui Ying, and eventually to me.

The level of cranky-ness was so tense, that they had the "come-any-closer-to-me-and-I'll-bite" look on their faces. Everything I said, everything I did, and any action I make seems to be irritating them further.

Hui Ying said: "I tell you, if anyone come and scold me now, he/she is going to get it from me!"
Leona said: "WAHLAO!!! I'm damn cranky now lor! I feel like walking out of the office already la! Don't care liao, I don't want to work liao lor!"

The most terrifying 2 sentences I've ever heard! And because they look so damn cranky, serious and convincing, I was really afraid to even talk to either of them, worrying that they might just pack up and leave the office.

Until lunch, Hui Ying was sulking and "melting" into the chair. While Leona complaints about her pig organ soup. Me trying to focus on eating my kimchi fried rice without stabbing my chopsticks into the styrofoam. Eventually Hui Ying lost her cool when the paint from her handphone started to peel off as she was trying to remove some sticker from it.

Leona said: "Today is not a good day for her to do that (peeling of sticker)"
Hui Ying said: "AAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Me said: ".............."

In the end to stop the disease from spreading any further, I ran my way to 7-11 and grabbed the biggest block of chocolate I could find. 35mins later, everything seemed to be back to normal. Leona was no longer staring with piercing eyes, Hui Ying was not "melting" into her chair, and they were Facebooking. And soon before long, they were burping, giggling and babying talking.

The symptoms from over-dosing of chocolate.

Yes, I enjoy their company at work, and always feels lonely when either of them are not around. BUT!!! Its tiring to have two of them behaving like retards....

Haiz~

Never the less, I love them... I do...

2009-05-31T14:15:00.003+08:00

PS:

Some fucking bastard stole my mini skirts, 2 of my only mini skirt collection. 1 is newly bought from OP, the other has been with me since years ago!

To whoever that bastard is! Don't ever let me catch you. I swear to God I will strip you naked and bury you alive!

How long do you wanna live your life?

2009-05-31T13:08:00.005+08:00

I'm on my steady track to losing weight, people please do not tempt me with things I shouldn't be eating! No more supper, no more chocolate and calories!
Leona was just asking me the other day, why all of a sudden I'm so hyped up for losing weight. Reason being it is very simple, cus I'm sick of lying to myself that I'm slim. So from now onwards, whenever I can, I'll exercise. During lunch, before going to bed, walking up the stairs to get home, walk around every time I have nothing to do, do stretching while watching TV, running off the build up frustrations I have with my life. I'm starting to eat less carbs, more fruits and veggies, munch on apples, drink water to fill my tummy when I'm hungry. My target is to lose 5kg every month, and 15kg before my 21st Birthday.

I'm tired of lying to myself.

~~~~~

Was out for dinner on Thursday with Leona, Hui Ying and Eric (lucky him...3gals to 1guy) at Vivo when someone started a convo saying that they want to die early. Apparently all 3 of them had the same idea, except for me.

They were saying stuff like "Living life short but full!", stuff like "What is there in life?", stuff like "I'm already smoking and drinking, its expected." Stuff like "If I'm gonna work till 75 before I can retire, I rather die at 50." Or somethings like that, my memory is not the best, but you get what I mean anyway.

Maybe its me, I'm not sure.

There are lots of things that I have not done, wishes I have not fulfilled, at least these are the things keeping me from committing suicide. Countless things that I have not experienced, people I have not met, places I have not explored. I'm very sure I don't want to end my life that early, maybe not now, not yet. Not when I haven't meet my prince charming.

Kings Of Leon - Use Somebody

I've been roaming around, always looking down and all I see,
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you and all you know, and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you...

Off in the night while you live it up, I'm off to sleep
Wagin' war to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me,
Someone like me,
Someone like me,
Somebody.

Go and let it out...

Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody

I've been roamin' around, always lookin' down at all I see

My confession....

2009-05-20T21:30:00.005+08:00

I was taking a shower a while ago when I just realised that I have many cuts on myself, and I have absolutely no idea where I got them from. -.-"

Monday was Kuishin-bo night, and it was wild! HY and Leona had to suffer the day after, easing themselves with sour-plum. The food was okay if you are into main courses kinda food, but I think their dessert is horrible. There was a lil "action" going on at the fondue area, which I guess no ones wants to know about, cus it will only make you resent eating fondue the next time round.

Had a simple hair cut on Tuesday, at Leona's frequent salon. Though there wasn't much change to the hair style, I liked it, at least I myself know where the difference is. Leona and the hairdresser were going through my hair and investigating my scalp problem. For the first time in 9 years, I finally know why my "dandruff" never healed. Cus it wasn't dandruff to begin with, I had semi-serious scalp infection. And now Leona is going to supervise my "hair treatment" and make sure I did my daily cleaning and treatment. I'm starting to feel like a kid with her around...

There are a few things I want to mention but on random basis.
1) I saw 2NE1's debut performance, and I am very very very disappointed!
2) I am liking HyukJae from Super Junior more and more(:
3) I have a confession to make...

My Confession....

I'm starting to feel lonely...and I have been thinking to myself, maybe I really do need a man. Someone special and someone who can make me feel special.
I know it sounds ironic, cus I'm always saying that I'm happy being single and stuff like that. But recently I'm starting to feel empty day by day. Maybe its because of the people around me, with their lovey-dovey mood spreading on to me. Maybe its because there are more and more people telling me that love is around the corner from me, and its coming real soon. All the comments and ideas make me feel so hopeful, but yet disappointed.

Davichi - My Man
"You've got to be my man, baby I want your love
You, come to me, oh yea yea yea
I've got you not a friend, It's gonna be you, be fine
It's you that I want, My love...

Should I give you my attention?
Or should I hold back?

Can I love you?
Can I have you?
Is that alright?"

Re-edited:
PS: Huang Ting-Ting was saying "I wanna ask, u sound like u got someone u like in mind."
Okay, actually I have.. but he is just too damn impossible, and its a known fact. Maybe he's the reason I've been so down and emo lately, cus he has been popping in and out of my head quite frequently lately. A lil too much for me to handle, and its not like I can control him from popping into my head.

Brown Eyed Girls - Second

2009-05-15T21:22:00.012+08:00

Ever met that special someone? The special Mr. Right who seems to be the only best thing in life for you. Who can make magic happen with a smile, and make you feel like you were his special half in life. Even when he already has that other special half on his right, and you were the second special half on his left.

I met one, and he left the deepest scar, and yet I felt no anger, no pain from the scar. I thank him for the lesson given. To me, he is still the special half I once had.

But there was once when I hated him. I couldn't forgive, couldn't forget. I hated myself, I hated him. I had no where to vent my anger, I thought no one understood the pain I was going through. I thought I was alone, dying in pain and anger.

Until I heard this song. It was like the song was made for me, it was my story being sung. Then I realised, I didn't have to hate myself for what happened. I only needed to let go.

~~~~~
Brown Eyed Girls - [[Second]]
~~~~~

Yeah, Baby
You just blew your chance, ya get the idea?
This is the bomb track, you know what I'm saying
The hottest track of the year

[[Chorus]]
I can't take another lover, I could not forget you never
If it's not for you, you know I can't be with anyone else (you're the only one for me)
Now I can't have another love
Don't leave my side

[Rap Verse 1]
At first we were friends of the same age
You were a good friend, strong and honest
You were like the shinning sun, everytime you smiled, things got brighter
Your place in my heart gets bigger,
(feel the love) We got closer and closer,
On your left hand, the fourth finger, that shinning ring means nothing to us

[Verse 1]
I knew from the beginning about you,
As time went by, I started to realise many things
I knew about it but I just kept it in,
I don't want to let you go again

All day I waited for your call, but I ended up calling the other girl
Thinking maybe I'll hear your voice again
I can't breathe

[[Chorus]]
I can't take another lover, I could not forget you never
If it's not for you, you know I can't be with anyone else (you're the only one for me)
Now I can't have another love
Don't leave my side

[Verse 2]
Afraid that you'll start to talk about her,
I tell you more than ever, that you are the only one for me
Just like that, I wish I could again
I want to keep your love

[[Chorus]]I can't take another lover, I could not forget you never
If it's not for you, you know I can't be with anyone else (you're the only one for me)
Now I can't have another love
Don't leave my side

[Rap Verse 2]
Although the world may curse at me, although the world may forget
Even so, I will be okay with the deep pain in my heart
Without you, I'm insane
Your presence is the only thing that keeps life going
Although I may lack alot, stay by my side, don't leave me
My body and love wants you
Please don't make me cry, I need you here by my side

[[Chorus]]I can't do this, I can't give you away,
I can't live without you (you're the only one for me)
Even though you curse at me, I can't do it
Don't leave me alone again

I can't take another lover, I could not forget you never
If it's not for you, you know I can't be with anyone else
Now I can't have another love, don't leave my side

I can't have another love
~~~~~~

Think about it... Did this happen to you too?

I broke my left wrist [[Fortune-Cat Style]]

2009-05-14T22:42:00.004+08:00

Ever seen how the fortune cat, often found in restaurant cashier counters, moves? The battery generated cat waves it left hand up and down with a bent wrist. I was given the exact movement, but with stronger force and harsher effect, thus a loud crack was produced.

Okay, maybe you can't understand what I'm trying to say. I meant I went for Chinese traditional massage treatment for my left wrist. Through out the whole entire session, I thought the physician was trying to break my wrist. My mother sitting at least 3 or 4 meters from me could also hear a few loud cracks over my desperate tries to control my scream.

The bugger kept pulling me up holding only my left wrist, and the intention was to loosen my wrist. I had to try to pull in the opposite direction as much as possible, and because his force was too strong, I ended up being pulled along. My mother actually suggest for the guy to step on me, to press me down into my chair, and of course I know she was joking, but the pain was too much for me to even laugh at the joke.

I was laughing though, but I was laughing because of the pain. A certain kind of chemical is produced under certain circumstances, it actually makes you high. So you could say I was at my high, and I was laughing with tears streaking down my face.

~~~~~

Super Junior with their new song [[It's You]] released 12May cus of leaked version.

I really like the song, dance, mv. Actually that's everything, but I wish they could make the boys' style a little stronger. Emphasise the hair colors, the design of the clothes and it's color. What I really like about the mv is the dance, the heart pounding move. Prolly cus I'm really into these kinda gigs(: I can say for sure I've found the perfect ending song(:

The Singtel ringtone is addictive~

2009-05-11T11:43:00.005+08:00

Yes, I'm blogging at work, but it's lunch time, SO?!

Wahaha~

Since ... (hello... I'm leona... Kitty's yinnndian buddy!! she say she want to lose weight but she have NO control so we are controlling her!!!! buahahahhahahhahahaha)

Erm... yea....That was Leona, and I was trying to help her retrieve her bag of green tea, when she sneak-posted into my blog....

Anyway, since nine plus in the morning, we've been trying to call up candidates for some event, and all we hear is the bloody singtel ringtone. And everyone is singing the tune and laughing at themselves!

~~

I ate chocolate last night! NO~~~
Yea, and all I watched was "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". Oh my...I can see the wonderful chocolate waterfall, candied apples, pepper-mint grass in my head again! Other then the fact that there were so much eye candies to see, the show was also very enjoyable.

My siblings and I were discussing about all the funny things in the show. Like how we would kill to have a hot chocolate waterfall in our house, eat the never-melting ice-cream, or die to have a tour around Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. And I'm very curious about one thing, did the Willy Wonka candies came about because of the book? I use to love their globbstoppers(: The mother of all Chocolate!

So after the movie, my siblings were too hungry to resist it. So they stole the bottle of Nutella from the kitchen and hid in a corner of the room. In 10 minutes time, they finish the entire bottle licking it clean! I was so tempted in the beginning, and missed the chance of eating the Nutella from the bottle, I had to go down to the supermarket to "pretend" to buy bread for breakfast the next day. Yes, I slipped a bar of chocolate into the shopping cart and ate in on the way home);

And now I feel guilty! NO~~~

ps: Huang Ting-Ting, if you see this I just wanna tell you. I MISS YOU!!! MESSAGE ME SOON OKAY? LET ME KNOW HOW YOU HAVE BEEN(: LOVE YA <3

What I would Want to Give Away~

2009-05-09T21:50:00.001+08:00

After dinner tonight, my youngest sister came up to me with sparkling eyes, asking for my most honest answer.

Sister says: "Jie, what is the one thing that you would give to me most willingly?"
Me says: "Huh? Why do you wanna know?"
Sister says: "So I know how much you love me." (Pulling a huge smile on her face)
Me says: "Actually there is something that I really wanna give you."
Sister says: "Ya?!"
Me says: "My fats."
Sister says: "......"

Anyway...

I was trying to sell my Prada purse the other day during lunch, Leona accompanied me to the shop. Seriously, I was really anticipating the cash to come in and I did check on the internet that it's worth alot.

After waiting for like forever, the lady at the shop was finally ready to look at my purse. I was already inmagning myself with the new samsung phone I was planning to get, when the lady qouted me a price.

"I can let you have it for $200*********"

Actually I can't really remember what other things she said, cus I was too shocked from the price I heard. Freaking TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS! At first I thought I heard the wrong thing, until I asked her how much would it be if I sold it off to her instead of waiting for someone to buy it.

"$100 is the most."

My expressions prolly frozed for like 2 seconds, with my mouth wide opened. Leona did warn me about the low offer price, but I didn't realise that it would be this low! I was expecting somewhere from $500 to $300. I was blown away and until Leona manage to pull me away, I was shocked and froze in the spot!

On our way back to the office, Leona was trying her best to calm me down. But my head was ringing, and I was still too much in shock to think straight. So in the end, we went to Spinell and I got myself a ice blended choco drink and she had a coffee.

After drowning down half the choco, I was reminded that I was supposed to be on a diet, and I should be saving money. Yet again, I made a mistake after another. TOOPID ME!

PS: My left wrist is hurting like hell and feels sore all the time. And there was this rude bitch who ran into me and whacked her bag of something into my left wrist. For a moment I thought my wrist was going to dislocate, and that bitch did not apologise! And Leona shouted bitch after her. Thanks gal!

CongratZ on first posting(:

2009-05-07T22:51:00.000+08:00

Finally after 912 days, I've decided to blog again.

~~****CONGRATZ!****~~

Recently just started my 3 months work contract with WDA. Seriously speaking, I am loving work(:

Surprised? Don't be...

I just love my co-workers, specially the ones sitting close to me(: They are the love and fun at work, my indian, diet and crapping buddies(:

I even love the OICs I work with, okay, maybe not all of them. But most of them.

Been working for 3 weeks already, and I'm already getting used to waking up at 6.30am every morning, eating breakfast at my work desk, waiting for Leona to come in and start making my day and demanding for her "kopi ga dai".

(My desk at work(: Its huge!)

Life has been most loved these days, until today. I'm starting to feel depressed, or maybe just bored. Work life has been great with all the different challanges everyday, different lunch menu, the silly languages and actions. But something seems missing, and I can't be sure what that is.

Prolly not men. I've never really had issues with them ever since the last major heartbreak. I know i'm doing very well on me-self, but something's not there! Something is just not right.

Anyway, just heard 2NE1's latest single, FIRE. It's hot! Prolly get addicted for a while...
Gotta get to bed alreayy...Till the next time...

"I go by the name of CL of 2NE1!"