Oct 1, 2009 ' 12:16 AM Y
I lose myself every once in a while
In the back of my head is the humming of overwhelming pain and anger that had been bottled up for too long. My head swarms with memories that triggers the pain in my heart. My pulse throbs to remind me of the anger I have held back for too long, and is now overdue for release.
My hands clenched into fists, with my nails digging hard into the flesh of my palms. The pain was still too mild for me.
I raised my hands to the side of my head, as I swing it forward, release the energy into my wrist. A dull pain was felt as my knuckles made its contact with the wall in front, a slight relief of anger left my chest. I continued the action a few times, until I could feel the skin around my knuckles swell, and blood seeped through the fresh cuts.
I chucked. It felt good. But not enough. Still not enough.
I came into a room. A wall of framed pictures, and items with a string of memory attached filled the white room. I picked up the closest frame.
Bright smiles and a beautiful weather. The frame was light pink and felt warm.
I smirked as I threw the frame across the room, and watched as it shattered into pieces. Its broken glass laid on top of the picture that was popped out of its frame by force. I flew into rage as I threw things around the room and listened to them shatter, watched as they lie lifeless and broken.
Soon I could no longer hear the things that shatter around me. My own screaming covered the sounds of glass and memories shatter. I swung my body forward as my hands sweep across the table top, and things piled up at the bottom in a heap. My feet kicked at everything that laid in my path. The crunching sound of glass under my feet became harmony with my screaming, cool wetness followed.
After I was done, I slumped into a corner of the room. The room looked bare, with disoriented heaps lying on the floor. A messy trail of blood made its way around the room, and ended at my feet. My hands were also trickily blood, my fingers felt numb.
The humming at the back of my head had stopped, my pulse was once again smooth and my breathing was even.
I chucked softly feeling the relief in my chest. Slowly it became laughter, as though some one had tickled me. Then, all hell broke loose as my flood gate opened. Tears poured out blurring the images from my eyes, damping my cheeks. My hands flew up to cover my face, where tears and blood met.
I sobbed harder and harder into my palms until I could not longer breathe evenly. Stealing air every now and then in between my sobbings, I felt light and unstable. I cried till I was tired, I cried till I lost consience, I cried till I fell asleep.
Only then did I stop. When no energy was left, until all the pain and anger was gone.
